“And taking the child by the hand, he saith unto her, Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, Arise”.
I thought on this particular biblical story and the words of Jesus and I have to admit that my heart broke but I was also infused with hope. My heart broke because the imperfect person that I am wondered why I didn’t have someone else entreating Jesus for me, why was no one calling on him for me over my sin-sick soul. Could no one tell I was dying, breathing by reservoirs of grace while my heart could no longer provide oxygen to my soul? I was also relieved because a part of me believed that He could do it for me too, take me by the hand and say “Talitha cumi”. Believed that at His word my spirit would awaken!
I’ve often heard it said that at times we don’t feel God and its normal, I had to wonder though if there is a time frame when that situation is ripped off its normalcy? When does it become abnormal, when should one be concerned? I’d been in this wilderness for years and I was desperate to be on the other side of it. It hadn’t been dry the whole time, I had great encounters but I was interested in a relationship. I didn’t want a casual fling but intimacy and consistent fellowship. I dare say that I missed Him, I missed God.
The voice of the Spirit deposited a thought in my mind and had me thinking it was my own. With delicacy, I now know He had been talking to me but I had wanted an intrusion. As a result, I missed it so many times. I was waiting for a mountain shaking voice to speak to me. I now wonder whether those encounters, which I dearly loved and resented at the same time, were the voice of my Father saying daughter arise. I wonder whether those are the times when He was taking me by the hand when for a lack of a faith response they never became the start of a new thing but ended up as events that ended.
The bible says that the just shall LIVE by faith. I’ve now come to believe that we not only come alive at salvation by faith but for us to stay alive it can’t be outside of that faith. Faith that the Word of God stands true above our feelings. That our faith should give life to our feelings towards God, not our feelings validating our faith in Him.
I’m alive, my body is not a tomb anymore, housing the cops of my spirit. I’m alive. He speaks to me, I’m alive. He holds my hand, I’m alive.