I’ve never had anyone close to me plan a wedding, so I really had no idea how planning my own would go. I thought I was ready to do it but I couldn’t have been ready for the revelations & reminders it came with.
I’ve always lived my life with some knowledge that I have a family in as much as I’m not the last of my blood line but when ‘push came to shove’ then the girl in the mirror was the only person I could turn to. I understood all that and I still cared for the people who I share my DNA with.
My perceived self sufficiency has been so bad that at times I’ve acted like I could make it without God Himself, I’m glad that theory can never be proven.
I veered of course, our somewhat enstrangement never really bothered me. A part of me always felt lucky to have no obligated family holidays or calls for that matter. It’s not lost on me how twisted that sounds.
All that to say, I didn’t expect my wedding planning to be some familial encounter and that I was fine with as well, I thought everyone in my family was on the same page. I mean our relationships were based on us not having any expectations of each other until someone flipped the script on me.
It seemed like the scales were partially removed from their eyes. All of a sudden there was all this talk about aunts, uncles & fathers. Perhaps it would be better if this sudden unveiling wasn’t limited to their rights but also extended to their responsibilities.
I really wanted to give this a positive spin but well I’d have to lie about what’s in my heart right now. So I’m going to ask for prayer rather, I need so much grace for bitterness to not take root.